This is it.
Since I was a little girl, I always knew what I really wanted from my life. I thought it was so tough to get, things will be difficult. That’s what I was taught. “Child, nothing in world is for free.” I would always ask myself that how will I even earn it? Is it even something to earn in the first place? But back then my definition of it was flawed.
I thought freedom is living away from the family and do stupid things with your friends. Basically, living life on one’s own terms even if they have only a few thousand bucks in the pocket. Because freedom is such an unreachable thing in the society we live when it should be free of cost. We have “right tos” for a reason.
As I am growing both spiritualy and age-wise, a truth has started unfolding as I catch myself in certain situations several times. When my mom would say, “One day, you’ll get married. What would your mother-in-law would think of us if you are unable to maintain the household?” or when my ex-boyfriend said, “Behave in public, what will people think?” or when some random person comes to me and talks about their dream plan which is too weird for the world to begin with already.
It doesn’t stop there. I’ve witnessed this “need” that most of us have to have someone by the side. Friends. Spouces. Kids. Parents. We can’t function on our own. We are chained with others. Being on our own is sucky as far as I have observed. No, it’s not wrong wanting a human touch, an interaction, fun with the loved ones. But constant need? Meh.
When I became aware of it, I decided to end the ‘need’ of people or their opinions no matter how high of regard they are. I wanted to end the need. Honestly, when I began, people laughed at me, mocked me, mimiced me, what not. I have been called a moron, a loner, a weirdo sometimes. Why? I don’t really care.
And the mission has been accomplished. Know what it feels like? Not needing to talk or asking someone a fake ‘what’s up?’ just to have a shallow conversation? GREAT! There’s no better feeling than this freedom. I didn’t earn it. It was free lying around in me. I was just a courage away. More than money or a big house, true freedom is freeing from unwanted worry of what will they think or giving importance to rules society has laid for all of us. I mean what do people do when they want to achieve some unique desires but unfortunately get judged? They crush the desire.
But me? I’m all set to be me without giving a rip to this world. If my mother-in-law would only love me if I can maintain her house, I’ll better have a mansion of my own and live there with me who loves me the most. If my boyfriend wants me to ‘behave’, I will and find someone better. If my dream plan is weird, I’ll let the world call me weird. Simple. There is nothing empowering than this feeling and I would always embrace it like a treasure. 💜💜
